Been Awhile....

The Sign in the front yard

Susan and James

Uncle Brandon feeding John

Mommy and John

Mommy and Brandon

John just hanging out

John hanging out with his dad

Daddy and Brandon

Brandon the thinker...

Brandon trying out a bouncy chair

Daddy and John

We are all just trying to adjust to being a family of 6 (mommy, daddy, the twins and the dogs). It has been an interesting time with having both boys home and trying to get down a schedule, know their sounds, get use to their cries and figuring out when their awake times are. Seems like John likes to fuss and be awake from 7-11pm and Brandon from 2-7am approximately. What is funny is that the boys were so quiet in the NICU and they get home and love to make cute and not so cute noises. Brian and I are taking turns feeding and using the grandmothers to help during the day and NIGHT! Lack of sleep in just something we have gotten use to and seems like we kind of run on adrenaline. Brian went back to work today which made me very sad and scared of trying to do all this by myself-with the help of the grandmothers-but ultimately all this is my responsibility. I get very overwhelmed when both boys start to fuss or are wanting to eat at the same time and start to cry. I have only been alone with them I think TWICE. I have been able to feed them alone though which is cool to know that one day I will get all this down and it will be easy (as allot of moms of multiples tell me)! Sometimes I feel as if I can not do this and I just don't know how to be a mom or take care of two innocent little ones. I guess right now that is normal since we have only had them home for a little while even though they are almost 5 WEEKS OLD! Yesterday we had our first pediatrician visit. The car ride was great, both boys do wonderful. The visit was good too!!! John weighs 7 pounds 2 ounces and is 19 1/4 inches long. Brandon is 7 pounds and 19 inches long. Both are doing well and the doc said just to keep doing what we are doing and see her in a month. It felt great that they have not lost any weight after coming home and that we are feeding them the right amounts. Not much else is going on other that feeding, sleeping and hanging out!

Our first night

Well... I did not know how emotional you can get! John has had two episodes of crying spells. One two nights ago where i just freaked out and cried for hours and thought I was on the breaking point of postpartum and last night where I did better. I think he might be congested so we are now using a humidifier and saline drops for his nose. We are also using mylicon for gas for both boys. I think the transition to our house from the sterile environment of the NICU has really caused most of this but it still scares me that the boys can get sick! After John calmed down and finally passed out Brandon woke up and was grunting and wiggling around, mind you this was at 5:30am after his feeding so I decided to hold him for a bit and he spit up all over me! NICE!!!! I have also been peed on by John and Brian has been peed on by Brandon. I was up with Brandon who was wide awake till about 7am. Nice lack of sleep since I decided to do the 2am and 5am feedings. My mom was here to feed one while I fed the other but it is still so hard! One person.... either Brian, who ever is helping out or I will have to do two consecutive feedings and not get too much sleep through the night. I gave Brian a break and let him sleep from midnight to 7 this morning. Anyways, they have been great this morning just eating and sleeping! If you come by please keep make sure you are not sick and that babies stay home so we don't get too many germs around... they have enough with the dogs licking them
:-)
Prayer request.... rest for all of us, that John has less gas and just in general feels better and that Brandon adjusts well to his new home and does not get sick. Also that we can find good bottle to use (we are having a hard transition from the NICU bottles).

More pics soon!

FINALLY!!!

The boys are together!!!!

but first....

Brandon got to come home today (1-25). John spent 26 days in the NICU and Brandon spent 29 days in the NICU but now they are home and finally get to meet one another again. They are both doing amazing and we are so excited that they are both home with us and we get to see them together.

Brandon getting ready to leave the NICU

Brandon in his car seat

Brandon just hanging out on the way home!

Brandon exhausted after after getting home

Drum roll please.....

The little men

Brandon and John

AWE... LOOKIE LOOKIE

who is home......

first car ride

on the way home (thanks granny and pa for the car seats)


finally home... in the pack-n-play (thanks auntie ruth)


all comfy in the astros blanket (thanks uncle Brandon)

Lexi wondering who is the new addition


the next morning... we made it through the first night!!!

It was an interesting first day home with John. We did not get much sleep as I would make sure he was breathing every 15-20 minutes. He did great though... did not cry and slept most the night. we heard some noises and we would check on him but he was just chilling.

Brandon is up to SIX BOTTLES... YIPPIE! WE hope he can finish all of them and get him home next week sometime. He is just doing great, we think he knows his brother went home and now he has to get down to business. The traveling is now going to get harder having John at home but we are managing thanks to all the grandparents :-)

** UPDATE**

Brandon is on 8 bottles and no feeding tube!!! Thank you so much for the prayers... it is truly amazing to see Gods work!

more pics

John in his open crib

John's blanket


John just hanging out





Brandon's NICU home


Trying to change Brandon

not the easiest thing...

but he is too cute

Nursery Update

March of Dimes

This year I am participating in the March of Dimes-March for Babies....

http://www.marchforbabies.org/csynnott

It has hit me...

like a ton of bricks....

I just realized that my boys are in the NICU and not home being newborns. I don't know why it took me three weeks but it has. I don't feel like a real mom. I feel that my babies are at a baby sitters 24/7. I go up to feed them twice, change their diapers and take their temperature. The drive, the NICU and everything is just getting to me and I am sad. I just want them home and crying for me, in swings smiling, seeing their sleep patterns, and waking me up at three in the morning to do whatever they need me to do. I just feel so detached!
Don't get me wrong, the boys are doing well but I did not think they would be in the NICU for at least three weeks. Brandon most likely will be over six pounds before he gets home. He is struggling with finishing his bottles. He is on four bottle, every other feeding and seems to only finish two out of the four so they are not going to progress up to five yet. Please pray that he catches on and that he starts to finish all his bottle feeds. When he does not finish that means he has to stay in the NICU longer to learn. I just want him HOME. The neonatologist says it is just a classic case of prematurity. John is doing well... he lost a little weight but that is because he is working so hard on feeding. HE IS ON EIGHT BOTTLES!!! They took out the feeding tube and now he just has to keep up his body temperature and sustain the eight bottles and he should be home next week..... most likely without his brother. Please pray that John can keep his temperature up and sustain the eight bottles per day.
Please also pray for Brian and I to be able to handle bringing home one of our sons and not both at the same time. I know it will be amazing to bring one of them home but it will be so hard to leave one there.

wow

John

Brandon

The boys are doing good.... Brandon is up to three bottle. We have decided that he is just a slow eater... have no clue who he gets that from! We are going to try feeding him at a different time of day and see if he eats more... he likes to fall asleep in the middle of his feed. He is also 5 pounds 8 ounces. John is up to four bottle and just doing great with it. He finishes very fast and then passes out! John is 5 pounds 7 ounces.
I am doing good too... I decided to stop pumping cold turkey (thanks Michelle) and use cabbage leafs and sage tea, if I can get up the nerve to taste it! My friend Jenny S. used sage tea and said it helped her!!! I have gone over 12 hours with no pumping... I even packed everything up. I am in some pain but comes and goes and I am as hard as a rock and it looks like I have had a boob job, they are almost as high as my chin! ;-) I have yet to tell the OT's who help feed the boys that I am not going to breast feed but no milk will be brought to the hospital tomorrow so I guess they will know soon. I hope the pain subsides some in a couple of days. Right now I am just trying to do anything to keep my mind off of it.
Tomorrow I get to meet with a pediatrician to see if I want them to care for the boys. I have another appointment on Thursday and hopefully one of them will be a great fit. Other than that I am finally cooking and doing laundry. I am feeling a lot better and pray that this is the last thing my body has to go through for at least a YEAR!!!

Thank you all for the well wishes, prayers and encouragement!

Decision...

I have made the very hard decision to stop breast pumping. I have been thinking about it for about a week but have felt very guilty about it because so many mothers pump or breast feed and I am weaning off after 2 weeks 4 days! Texas Women's Hospital are real advocates of breast feeding and I am scared about telling them. I do not want to be told I am a bad mom, especially to preemies and twins or have them say things that make me second guess my decision. My reasoning for stopping is this.... I personally want to enjoy my boys when the come home. We have all been through a lot, after IVF, hospital stays, being sick and the NICU.... I am tired and know that my body can not handle all this and stay sane. I have dealt with depression before and never ever want to go back there. When the twins do come home I do not want to be tied down to a pump. I want to play, watch, feed and ENJOY our boys. I know a lot of moms will disagree with me and I think that breast feeding moms are my heroes because I can see how hard it is but it is just not for me. Just making the decision has made my attitude better and now I want to get up and find a pediatrician, play in the nursery, get dressed, cook dinner and I just want my body to feel normal again. I know my life has changed and I am a mom and nothing will ever be the same BUT I am ready to be a mom and for the boys to be home and start our new life without the hassle of dealing with my breasts.... ;-)
Ok so now I am rambling....

On another note.... thank you for your prayers, they are being answered!!!!
John is up to three bottles and Brandon is up to two. Brian and I think John should be home by next week some time and hopefully Brandon will come home with him or shortly follow!

YIPPIE

Brandon finished his bottle yesterday in 25 minutes... all 47 ml. of it!!!
Pray that he keeps it up.

Also, John did great with his second bottle!!

I pray they come home soon, it is starting to wear on me.

Our Piglets

The boys are doing very very well!!!!!!
Brandon and John are both over 5 pounds and growing everyday. They are both up to about 47ml of milk a feeding. John has been upped to two bottles a day- about 12 hours apart (they like three feedings in between). If he takes the second bottle well they will keep increasing bottles per day. Hopefully it will not take long for him to get to 8 bottles and come home. Brandon is still on one bottle, he is being a little stinker and not being very interested in taking his full bottle- he eats about half and then falls asleep..... so cute but very frustrating.
Please continue to pray for the twins as they learn how to feed and tolerate the bottle so they can come HOME!!!!

Prayer Request

Alright, I need some prayers!!!

I am sick... I don't know if I am having a bad case of allergies OR I have a cold but low and behold I don't feel good!
I feel like I can not catch a break. From getting home from the hospital I have had a fever, a numb hand, an infection and now this.... it is one thing after another and now I am not getting to see the boys everyday (I missed yesterday and today) because I don't want anyone in the NICU getting sick if I am really sick.
I just want to feel good!!! Please pray for my soreness to subsides, my allergies/cold goes away fast, the feeling in my hand comes back and that the infection goes away so I can go see the boys!

Thanks

Updated pic

Here they are at 34 weeks 3 days-12 days old. John on the left is 4 pounds 9 ounces and Brandon on the right is 4 pounds 13 ounces.... gaining weight every day!