AWE... LOOKIE LOOKIE

who is home......

first car ride

on the way home (thanks granny and pa for the car seats)


finally home... in the pack-n-play (thanks auntie ruth)


all comfy in the astros blanket (thanks uncle Brandon)

Lexi wondering who is the new addition


the next morning... we made it through the first night!!!

It was an interesting first day home with John. We did not get much sleep as I would make sure he was breathing every 15-20 minutes. He did great though... did not cry and slept most the night. we heard some noises and we would check on him but he was just chilling.

Brandon is up to SIX BOTTLES... YIPPIE! WE hope he can finish all of them and get him home next week sometime. He is just doing great, we think he knows his brother went home and now he has to get down to business. The traveling is now going to get harder having John at home but we are managing thanks to all the grandparents :-)

** UPDATE**

Brandon is on 8 bottles and no feeding tube!!! Thank you so much for the prayers... it is truly amazing to see Gods work!

more pics

John in his open crib

John's blanket


John just hanging out





Brandon's NICU home


Trying to change Brandon

not the easiest thing...

but he is too cute

Nursery Update

March of Dimes

This year I am participating in the March of Dimes-March for Babies....

http://www.marchforbabies.org/csynnott

It has hit me...

like a ton of bricks....

I just realized that my boys are in the NICU and not home being newborns. I don't know why it took me three weeks but it has. I don't feel like a real mom. I feel that my babies are at a baby sitters 24/7. I go up to feed them twice, change their diapers and take their temperature. The drive, the NICU and everything is just getting to me and I am sad. I just want them home and crying for me, in swings smiling, seeing their sleep patterns, and waking me up at three in the morning to do whatever they need me to do. I just feel so detached!
Don't get me wrong, the boys are doing well but I did not think they would be in the NICU for at least three weeks. Brandon most likely will be over six pounds before he gets home. He is struggling with finishing his bottles. He is on four bottle, every other feeding and seems to only finish two out of the four so they are not going to progress up to five yet. Please pray that he catches on and that he starts to finish all his bottle feeds. When he does not finish that means he has to stay in the NICU longer to learn. I just want him HOME. The neonatologist says it is just a classic case of prematurity. John is doing well... he lost a little weight but that is because he is working so hard on feeding. HE IS ON EIGHT BOTTLES!!! They took out the feeding tube and now he just has to keep up his body temperature and sustain the eight bottles and he should be home next week..... most likely without his brother. Please pray that John can keep his temperature up and sustain the eight bottles per day.
Please also pray for Brian and I to be able to handle bringing home one of our sons and not both at the same time. I know it will be amazing to bring one of them home but it will be so hard to leave one there.

wow

John

Brandon

The boys are doing good.... Brandon is up to three bottle. We have decided that he is just a slow eater... have no clue who he gets that from! We are going to try feeding him at a different time of day and see if he eats more... he likes to fall asleep in the middle of his feed. He is also 5 pounds 8 ounces. John is up to four bottle and just doing great with it. He finishes very fast and then passes out! John is 5 pounds 7 ounces.
I am doing good too... I decided to stop pumping cold turkey (thanks Michelle) and use cabbage leafs and sage tea, if I can get up the nerve to taste it! My friend Jenny S. used sage tea and said it helped her!!! I have gone over 12 hours with no pumping... I even packed everything up. I am in some pain but comes and goes and I am as hard as a rock and it looks like I have had a boob job, they are almost as high as my chin! ;-) I have yet to tell the OT's who help feed the boys that I am not going to breast feed but no milk will be brought to the hospital tomorrow so I guess they will know soon. I hope the pain subsides some in a couple of days. Right now I am just trying to do anything to keep my mind off of it.
Tomorrow I get to meet with a pediatrician to see if I want them to care for the boys. I have another appointment on Thursday and hopefully one of them will be a great fit. Other than that I am finally cooking and doing laundry. I am feeling a lot better and pray that this is the last thing my body has to go through for at least a YEAR!!!

Thank you all for the well wishes, prayers and encouragement!

Decision...

I have made the very hard decision to stop breast pumping. I have been thinking about it for about a week but have felt very guilty about it because so many mothers pump or breast feed and I am weaning off after 2 weeks 4 days! Texas Women's Hospital are real advocates of breast feeding and I am scared about telling them. I do not want to be told I am a bad mom, especially to preemies and twins or have them say things that make me second guess my decision. My reasoning for stopping is this.... I personally want to enjoy my boys when the come home. We have all been through a lot, after IVF, hospital stays, being sick and the NICU.... I am tired and know that my body can not handle all this and stay sane. I have dealt with depression before and never ever want to go back there. When the twins do come home I do not want to be tied down to a pump. I want to play, watch, feed and ENJOY our boys. I know a lot of moms will disagree with me and I think that breast feeding moms are my heroes because I can see how hard it is but it is just not for me. Just making the decision has made my attitude better and now I want to get up and find a pediatrician, play in the nursery, get dressed, cook dinner and I just want my body to feel normal again. I know my life has changed and I am a mom and nothing will ever be the same BUT I am ready to be a mom and for the boys to be home and start our new life without the hassle of dealing with my breasts.... ;-)
Ok so now I am rambling....

On another note.... thank you for your prayers, they are being answered!!!!
John is up to three bottles and Brandon is up to two. Brian and I think John should be home by next week some time and hopefully Brandon will come home with him or shortly follow!