Awake time
I broke down and bought the book. I have not read everything but skimmed the chapters to see if I would like to try it.
Many of you know our twins were in the NICU for 4 weeks and got on a feeding schedule of every three hours from birth. So we did not have to find a schedule for them but we noticed that they fell asleep right after getting their bottle or during thier feed. Before Baby Wise we started changing their diaper in the middle of their feed to wake them up but after they were done we would hold them and then let them fall asleep. They were just too cute plus they are preemies and sleep is the best thing for them. After a few friends mentioned Baby Wise I decided to break down and buy the book and have read some, mostly about the eat/awake/sleep schedule. I have to say it makes perfect sense to have a baby play on a full stomach then sleep and not wake up till the next feeding. I don't really like having a fussy baby wake up 30 minutes before feeding (which we have). BUT it is sooooo hard to keep my boys up. Not all the time, sometimes they are wide awake but other times they just fall asleep and you can try everything to keep them up but they won't budge. So what do we do to keep them up for an hour to an hour 1/2?????? Even sometimes they won't go down at all and fuss the entire two 1/2 hours to three hours till they eat again. They are well fed so whats the deal.. any ideas? Also they talk about not letting them fall asleep in their swings.... well wouldn't you if you were being rocked, watching a mobile and listening to sweet music? I am at a loss how to keep them up after they eat unless they choose to themselves. Brian even mentioned after learning what this book says that we look like horrible parents because we don't do much of what it says or we even do it backwards? Is it too early for them to learn all this? They are two months old BUT their adjusted age is only around 2 1/2 weeks. I feel like I am going into this so blind that I am going to mess up. Brian and I have started putting them in their crib for naps now instead of in a swing or boppy lounger and they scream bloody murder for about 15 minutes and it breaks my heart but Brian has done so well in being firm with them. Sometimes it works and sometimes the screams get so bad I have to go in and hold or comfort them. I just don't know what I am doing. Any advice from you guys?
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Like mother like daughter
5 years ago
8 comments:
I still don't let Kendra cry it out at 7 weeks. I am not quite ready for that. My advice to you is don't fight your babies to get them to do the baby-wise schedule this early. Just be flexible with them. Guide them as best as you can but if they won't wake up when you want them to or sleep when you want them to then just let it go, once their adjusted age is around 3 months it should be easier to put them on this schedule. Hang in there Court, you are not bad parents, you are just meeting your babies needs!
Courtney, You are all certainly not bad parents! Your boys are still young, but keep in mind that the habits and things you teach them now may continue as they get older. Daycare providers are NOT allowed to leave babies asleep in swings, etc. so I would certainly pick them up out of the swings (if they are asleep) and put them in their beds. Once you put them in bed and they are still fussing - you might try patting them on the back/bottom or rubbing their back. I know with two little guys that is probably going to be a challenge. Also, as they mature and become more alert, they will be more interested in toys, etc. so it might be easier then to keep them awake after they are fed. Experiment with some different routine i.e at night - feed them, change their diaper, read them a story, rock them for a few minutes (not until their asleep, but close), and then put them to bed. Or feed them, give them a lavender bath, rock for a few minutes and then put them to bed. Try different things - maybe for a week at a time. If you go into their room to comfort them when they've been crying, don't pick them up, but just pat them and talk to them and then leave. OR better yet let Daddy put them to bed at night while you do something for you! :-) It will be okay and the boys know you ARE a good Mommy!
wow i think you already have some great advice. i have two (2 yrold and a 5month old) that Babywise has worked great for. my 2yr old is a great sleeper! I didn't start with either of them until they were two months old and even then everyday is different. you just give it your best shot. i would try anything that wakes then after feeding...bath, play mat, patty cake....with mine about 45min after eating they would get fussy so I would swaddle really tight, give them their paci and rock until they were really drowsy. put them in bed. if they started crying wait 10 min. then go in without picking up give the paci back and rewrap trying it all again. don't worry they will get it. i it might be better to wait until their adjusted age is a little older.
Sounds like you are off to a great start already having them on the feeding schedule. You are not bad parents at all!! We did babywise with levi from day 1 and has worked very well for us. it is difficult in the beginning when they cry, but it is definitely worth it and i don't believe you are being cruel by letting them cry a few minutes. let's face it, a baby's day includes crying, it's their way of communicating and soothing themselves. I always love a good cry. ;) anyway, back on subject. i would try to not keep them up so long after they eat. levi is only up for about 45 minutes (including feed time) sometimes an hour before he's down for his nap. he's usually asleep for about 2 hours. If you stick with it, imagine how nice it would be if the boys took 2 hour naps after every feeding with a little wake time!! you can do it, try to stick with it, but learn to be slightly flexible. you can introduce flexibility more once they have the hang of things. i agree with anonymous with the 2yr old and 5mo old about swaddling and going in after 10 minutes with the paci. Also, playing patty-cake is a good way to keep them awake. i remember having to try SO hard to keep levi awake after feeding him. They will get the hang of it relatively quickly. They sound like they are "routine" babies if they fall asleep after their meal most of the time. It's an easy transition. Feel free to e-mail me anytime if you have questions. I have a friend who did Babywise and I had to ask her a million questions and I couldn't have done it without her! We've been through alot with Babywise! Hang in there, it is TOTALLY worth it! I promise!!
Hi there. I ran across your blog through other blogs (not really even sure how)! I have 3 1/2 month old twin boys and we use babywise with them. We started it when they were about 2 months. Sometimes the wake time when we first started was only about 45 minutes. It doesn't have to be the full hour to hour 1/2 that the book recommends as long as the basic schedule is the same (feed/wake/sleep). Just play it by ear-if they have been up for about 45 minutes or so and you can't keep them up any longer then lay them down. If they wake up a little early from their nap that is ok too. Eventually they will stay up longer. I know with twins it is so hard to NOT have a schedule! I don't really want to put my email out here for everyone to see but if you have any questions then maybe you could just comment on here and I can email you. I'm definetly no expert and my twins are only a month or so ahead of yours but I'd love to talk with another twin mom! Good Luck! By the way-3 months was like a magical month-things just suddenly got so much easier recently!
hey there ashdog, i would love for you to email me!
This advice isn't from me, but from my pediatrician: "Throw the babywise book out!" :) Seriously, it works for some people greatly, but not for others...it didn't work for us. Just go with the babies lead and it WILL all come together eventually! You are doing awesome and count every moment they sleep a blessing becuase they will be awake and reaking havoc on your house before you know it! :)
You might want to see whether eat-wake-eat-sleep works well for them. It gives them a full belly for playing on, and a full belly for sleeping on. (Plus the tryptophan in milk--like turkey--puts babies to sleep!)
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