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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Today was not my day

I was alone all afternoon.... on my own accord and it has been the worst day since I became a mother. I have to admit now and please don't think wrong of me but this is the longest I have been alone with the boys... yes only 6 hours. I have been alone with them overnight but they were sleeping. So today I had them since noon. The noon feed was miserable. I fed them at the same time and that was okay till they had about 3 ounces and then they started looking around and trying to pull the bottle out of their mouth and just stopped eating. So I picked up John and tried to make him take his bottle, we got to 5 ounces and he spit up a bunch. I had to have my mom feed Brandon as it was already 12:15 and I was no where close to finishing with John. Brandon took at least 6 ounces and then mom fed him. I fed John his food and mom left. They went down around 1pm and slept till around 2 or 2:30, i can't even remember. Then they woke up and cried till I fed them at 3:45. I tried the same thing because they were just both crying non-stop. They did the exact same thing. So after I got 3 ounces in them both I pick Brandon up and he finished his bottle and then I picked John up and coaxed him to drinking around 6 ounces and then he spit up yet again. He did not even want squash and oatmeal. I got it down him but it was not fun at all. I know what they can drink and eat so I know I am not over feeding them I just don't know what the deal is. They played for about 45 minutes to an hour after they ate and went down... they crying was over. They woke up right when daddy came in and the crying has started again, John just won't stop. We are thinking about going back to the preemie formula. We just don't know what else to do. I have to say I cried through feeding John because I feel so defeated and I just feel like I can't do this alone. Mom will be here tomorrow to help so we can go to little gym then she goes to the lake at 2pm... we shall see how tomorrow goes. Please pray for us all!


Jenny B said...

I have had days like that with just one. Don't beat yourself up. You sound like you are doing awesome and maybe the boys are having a hard time adjusting to the different formula. It sounds like something was bothering them to me, rather than you not doing something right. Believe me, every mom has those days. It's just stinks that it was your second day on your own. :)

Harris Boys said...

aww just hang in there :) I know its tough now, but I promise it does get easier. it might have something to do with the new may take time to get use to it. sorry today was horrible. hope tomorrow is a new day with happy boys :)

The Myers Family said...

OH NO! I'm so sorry Courtney! I hope things get better tomorrow! Maybe as jenny said...could it be the formula? We've all been there...and believe me, i've had my share of crying and then some. You are doing a great job either way! I know it's hard when babies are crying and not eating...but you are strong and you can do this! Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking about ya'll!


P.S. Tomorrows Friday and then you have all weekend with your hubby...maybe he'll give you some nice time to go shopping or something fun! You deserve it!

Cassi said...

Awww, I feel your pain. There were days in the beginning of the journey where I shared some of the same feelings you expressed in this post. Do you think it was a tummy bug? Are they eating better now? Many prayers for you and your family. You are doing a great job and it just gets better - remember that!